Some say that Love’s a little boy
And some say it’s a bird,
Some say it makes the world go round
And some say that’s absurd:
But when I asked the man next door
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife was very cross indeed
And said it wouldn’t do.
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
O tell me the truth about love.
Does its odour remind one of llamas
Or has it a comforting smell?
O tell me the truth about love.
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is
Or soft as eiderdown fluff,
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.
I looked inside the summerhouse,
It wasn’t ever there,
I’ve tried the Thames at Maidenhead
And Brighton’s bracing air;
I don’t know what the blackbird sang
Or what the roses said,
But it wasn’t in the chicken run
Or underneath the bed.
Can it pull extraordinary faces,
Is it usually sick on a swing?
O tell me the truth about love.
Does it spend all its time at the races
Or fiddling with pieces of string,
O tell me the truth about love.
Has it views of its own about money,
Does it think Patriotism enough,
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.
Your feelings when you meet it,
I am told you can’t forget
I’ve sought it since I was a child
But haven’t found it yet;
I’m getting on for thirty five,
And still I do not know
What kind of creature it can be
That bothers people so.
When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I’m picking my nose?
O tell me the truth about love.
Will it knock on my door in the morning
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
O tell me the truth about love.
Will it come like a change in the weather,
Will its greeting be courteous or bluff,
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.